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This will be the last snippet of KITA before it is published Sunday.  However, to tease, er entice, you a bit more, I’m including two letters instead of the usual one.  Enjoy!

3.   Letter from Sir Jeremy Truhart to Sir Roland Faythful

Roly,

Have you heard the news? That old stick Amesbury wants us to reform. I heard him telling the old man he thinks we younger knights are so busy poking the maidens our lances are wilting. As if!

We have to stop this, Roly. Just imagine being forced into chastity! A fellow needs to know what to do with his lance before he rescues the princess, if you ask me. I hear they much prefer a little experience, know what I mean?

Can you and the other fellows meet me at the usual tomorrow night, immediately after curfew? We simply must stop the olds from forcing us into celibacy. Every ex-maiden in the city would thank us, know what I mean?

Jimmy.

***

4.  Letter from Lady Alicia Whenchforth to Lady Margaret Basoomy.

Maggy!!!

Have you heard??? They want to stop our fun!!!

Dear Roly just told me Jimmy said old Sir Richard thinks we are too immoral and we should stay chaste until our Daddies find us a good husband!!! I’ve been chaste enough, if you ask me! Chaste five times, and caught three! (Roly is the best, though, don’t you think? But don’t tell Jimmy I said that).

It’s all some rot about the hero business dying. I mean, really! Who cares about some moldy old too-good-to-be-true hero? I want a real man, someone who can do more with his lance than just poke it at me!

Anyway, we have to stop it. Daddy would send me to a convent if he knew I was using Madame’s Babynot. I’d die!!!! As if it matters, whether we do “it” or not. We are still maidens anyway, right Maggy?

Lissie

Maidens After Besmirching

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2.   Letter to Sir Anthony Grimston, from Sir Richard Amesbury

Dear Anthony,

It grieves me to say this, but things are no better on this side of the heroic fence. I have twenty strapping young Knights in Slightly Less Than Shining Armor, and every last one seems to be so busy despoiling the kingdom’s maidens he has a hard time keeping his lance straight, if you take my meaning.

I would offer to send you one for your dragon, but I fear none of them are virgin either. I fear a Fate Worse Than Death is entirely too pleasurable for our kingdom’s former maidens.

With regret,

Richard.

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I thought I’d tease — er, tempt — everyone with an excerpt from Kate Paulk’s upcoming Knights in Tarnished Armor.

1. Letter to Sir Richard Amesbury, from Sir Anthony Grimston.

My dear friend,

It should come as no surprise to you that the kingdom in an intolerable state. In all my years as a professional scoundrel and despoiler of maidens, I have never seen anything to equal this. I simply cannot do business.

The dearth of maidens is appalling, Richard, utterly appalling. How can I abduct a woman and threaten her with a Fate Worse Than Death if such a fate as already befallen her – and worse, she enjoyed it!

Worse, no self-respecting Knight in Shining Armor will rescue a besmirched maiden. I do not even get the somewhat dubious pleasure of besmirching them myself. They come to me pre-besmirched, as it were. My dragon is starving, and my estate is on the brink of bankruptcy.

Can you see any solution to this problem?

Your friend,

Anthony

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